


To Apologise

by Black_Eagle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Michael (Supernatural), Hurt Raphael, I think?, Michael can be very scary when he wants to be, Michael is a Little Shit, Physical Abuse, Raphael has feelings too, Sad Michael, give them the love they deserve, god sucks, i personally blame him for Supernatural in general, kind of, okay?, sometimes, that's for sure, why is it even a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:24:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Eagle/pseuds/Black_Eagle
Summary: -To apologise:Expressing regret for something that one has done wrong.-“I’m sorry,”“Stop apoligising!” Michael ordered, his voice slightly louder.





	To Apologise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schizonephilim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizonephilim/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Down the Rabbit Hole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936499) by [schizonephilim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizonephilim/pseuds/schizonephilim). 



> This was based on Redemption for the Fallen. Sets during Embracing Your Birthright. And that serts during 5x08 Changing Channels. Basically, it's where Gabriel awakens Kyra's grace. So, it sets between chapter 7 of A Night Off With the Devil and Down the Rabit Hole. So, about 2 weeks (might be less) before Down the Rabit Hole
> 
> The second chapter will be the beta'd version of this.

[Read Embracing Your Birthright here](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7711580/1/Embracing-Your-Birthright)

\--------

They’ve felt it. Of course, they have, a Nephilim coming into being is a big thing, after all.

Its power shook the entire Host, and they were also sure it was strong enough to be felt by fallen as well.

It hit Michael the strongest, because his senses were more clear than others.

And it was actually strong enough to bring Michael to his knees.

It was the strongest Nephilim that came into being in a very long time.

Last time something like this happened, it was Gabriel, and…

Raphael didn’t want to think about it.

Before that wave hit them, Raphael went to Michael. Not very long ago, he was trapped in holy-fire by the wayward angel Castiel and the Righteous man, the true vessel of Michael, Dean Winchester.

Michael didn’t really care that Castiel made it out alive, but Dean? How could Raphael let Dean go?

It was unacceptable! But Michael didn’t say anything to Raphael about it.

It was three hours later after Dean and Castiel left the Healer standing in the middle of the circle of holy fire when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to set himself free.

He kind of hoped the holy fire would wear out quickly, but it did not.

He was expected to go back home, (if you could call it home anymore) but he couldn’t. Then he did the only thing he could think of.

He prayed.

Not to God, no. He had lost faith in his creator a long time ago. Angels were supposed to pray to no one but God, but why would he pray to a dead guy?

So he prayed to Michael.

He was glad that Michael chose to possess a random vessel to set him free instead of sending a few angels.

The vessel lasted for about 5 hours, though.

After he set Raphael free, he didn’t even blink as the younger archangel explained what had happened. When he was finished, he just nodded and left.

Raphael would rather his big brother to yell at him than just leaving like that.

But, well… his name was “He who is like God” after all.

So when the wave hit them, Raphael was with Michael to apologise.

The eldest Archangel hadn’t said a word to third born since that incident happened, and Raphael was sick of it.

The Sword of God was still mad at him, and that was why he was afraid of hurting his little brother.

Before all that, Michael would talk to Raphael. He would ask how he is doing, or he would just ask for information, or just… talk.

Now? Not even a word.

“Michael, look, I’m sorry, I know that…” he started, but he couldn’t finish his sentence, because that wave of cosmic power sent a meta-physical pain through his entire being. He gasped, trying to get his sight straight again. He blinked, and he could feel his wings flapping air, but he wasn’t doing that. It was like a knee-jerk reaction.

When he could finally see straight again, he saw Michael on the ground. The vessel he had possessed to search for his sword was already wearing out, and now it was even worse. His nose was bleeding, and he was holding his stomach, like he had nausea.

After Michael could finally put his thoughts in order, he growled with anger, his eyes flashing bright green with grace. “Nephilim.”

“Too strong to be a regular one,” The Healer pointed out.

But he couldn’t really understand why he was angry at all. It was a lie. Nephilims weren’t really abominations, and whoever had created it, wasn’t really defying God, because it wasn’t really God's orders, it was…

“Raphael, I can hear your thoughts.” Heaven’s General said, eyes closed now. That brilliant spark was gone.

The said Archangel bowed his head, and swallowed hard. “My apologies.” he had no idea why he was ashamed, he knew what he thought was true and…

“You think too loud.” Michael’s voice was steady, but Raphael was sure if Michael was a lesser man, his voice would be shaky.

“I’m sorry,”

“Stop apologising!” Michael ordered, his voice slightly louder.

Now Raphael's cheeks were starting to burn with shame, he still had no idea why, his hand shaking. “Start the hunt.” Michael gave another order, but this time it was directed to every angel in Heaven.

“Hunting Nephilims has caused us nothing but trouble before, brother.” The Healer sounded a bit too afraid for his own liking. Not that it actually mattered. Michael never seemed to notice how scary he is to Raphael. He had quite a temper, too. And he doesn’t realize that Raphael starts panicking every time he gets angry, even if it’s not Raphael he is angry with. It’s either he doesn’t notice, or he doesn’t care.

If Raphael is being honest, he really thinks his big brother doesn’t care about him. Why would he? Raphael is not important, after all. He doesn’t mean anything in the Plan. He doesn’t have a real role in Heaven.

And now he is glad that he was able to block Michael out of his mind. And he was grateful that Michael stopped trying to read his mind.

“Your point, Raphael?” Michael was obviously annoyed more than angry.

And Raphael couldn’t help the bitterness he felt. Michael was refusing to call him brother. He was too angry to do that.

He didn’t want to test the elder’s forbearance, but he answered anyway: “Why don’t you just let it go? We- you, you have more important things to do than hunting down a Nephilim. Like Apocalypse… and, why care? It wasn’t really God who-” he felt an urge to stop talking, because of Michael’s crushing gaze.

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Brother. That goes unsaid, of course. At Michael’s warning, Raphael closes his eyes, quiet: “Why?”

“Because how guilty I feel does not matter. We can not go back now.”

“If you were going to regret this much you should have not done it at the first place.”

“If it disturbed you this much you should have not stayed. You should have left with Gabriel.” Michael got up from his seat, walking away from the Healer.

“You are right, I should have.” Raphael had no idea where that courage came from, but he kept talking: “It would be better than staying with a coward who is too afraid to face his mistakes.”

“Raphael, leave.” Michael turned his back on him.

How dare he to be this disrespectful? Of course, Michael kept his mouth shut about it, too.

“Why? Scared of the truth?”

“Choose your next words very carefully.” Michael was gritting his teeth now.

“Or what?” Raphael stepped closer to Michael. “You might not like them?”

Raphael was afraid, yes, but he had faith in Michael. He knew he wouldn’t hurt him. He never did before, every time he was angry at Raphael, he hurt himself, not his brother.

He didn’t have the stomach to hurt another brother. Because that would mean losing him.

And Raphael was all he has left.

Michael clenched his fists, looking at him now. “Raphael.” His voice held warning, and it was scary quiet.

“I am not surprised, actually. You name is He who is like God, after all.”

He didn’t even see Michael move. But he was on top of him, and he had him by the throat.

Raphael was gasping for air, but he didn’t need it. Michael was denying him his grace… he was practically human, and he was being crushed by an Archangel.

The Healer was suffocating.

Michael’s eyes were turning into a dark red from bright green slowly. Raphael instinctively held Michael’s arms, but he was powerless. He was caught off-guard, and he couldn’t defend himself. There were dark spots forming in his sight.

Michael tightened his hold, then threw him to the closest wall. Raphael’s vision was swimming now, and all he could do was to close his eyes and raise his arms in surrender when Michael moved closer to him, blade in hand.

One more step, and he would run Raphael through with an Archangel blade.

But he didn’t take that step. He was still suffocating the younger one with his grace, but he realized what he had done a second too late, because when he stopped, Raphael was knocked out.

A wave of regret hit Michael, but it was too late. He had hurt his little brother. The only real brother he had left.

He bit his lip, making himself bleed. He took Raphael in his arms, checking for injuries. And… it seemed bad. A few of his ribs were broken, and he probably had an internal bleeding. He was coughing blood, and the sight in front of him made Michael hate himself even more. He was disgusted by himself.

With a snap of fingers, there was a bed in the room. Carefully, he laid Raphael on it. Healing his injuries was the easy part, but he didn’t know what to do after he woke up.

A few hours later, consciousness came back to Raphael. The first thing he saw was Michael cleaning his blade. Panic took over, because, well…

Michael has never laid a finger on him before, but now?...

He didn’t know what to think.

He tried to get away from the Commander of Heaven, and that caused him to fall from the bed. He didn’t even see Michael move again, and he was left breathless.

“N-no Mic-Michael p-please, I am sorry, I am s-so sorry, Michael-” He was scared, and he was scared for his life.

It broke Michael’s heart to see him like this. “Raphael, hey, look at me…” Raphael’s eyes were closed and he was struggling to get away from Michael. He couldn’t, of course. Michael had an iron grip on him.

The suffocating force of Michael.

The heat of his touch.

The Sword of God.

“Brother.” for the first time in what felt like forever, Michael’s voice cracked. All the authority was gone.

He wasn’t talking with the voice of Heaven’s General. No, this was Raphael’s long lost big brother.

Raphael stopped struggling, and opened his eyes. “Michael I-I am…”

“Raphael I am so sorry.” those words got Raphael by surprise, he could do nothing but to swallow.

“Please, Raphael, I have lost control, please forgive me. I am ashamed of myself, disgusted by myself.” Michael’s eyes were pleading. Much like himself.

Raphael buried his face in his brother’s -abuser’s- chest, sobbing quietly.

“I am sorry.” Michael apologised again, hugging him tightly. “It won’t happen ever again, you have my word.”

Did it matter anymore? Michael hurt him, and he had always hurt him without knowing.

Abuse isn’t always physical.

But Raphael couldn’t find his voice to say anything about it. He just cried, and cried.

And Michael could do nothing but to apologise over and over again.

**Author's Note:**

> Give Michael and Raphael the love they deserve, thank you.
> 
> Comments are soul food.
> 
> And, if you want to know what was happening during a specific scene, let me know so I can write XD


End file.
